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Thursday, 04 May 2006

Sunday, 30 April 2006

  • Are You Spoiled? Meme (from hazel matsumoto)

    40+ means you're spoiled.




    Do you have:
    (x) your own cell phone
    ( ) a television in your bedroom                                                                                        
    (x) an iPod/MP3 player(my digicam have mp3 features)
    ( ) a photo printer
    ( ) your own phone line
    ( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
    (x) high-speed internet access (i.e., not dialup)
    ( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
    ( ) DVD player in bedroom
    total:2

    (x) at least a hundred DVDs
    (x) a childfree bathroom
    ( ) your own in-house office
    ( ) a pool
    (x) a guest house
    ( ) a game room
    ( ) a queen-size bed or larger
    (x) a stocked bar
    ( ) a working dishwasher
    ( ) an icemaker
    (x) a working washer and dryer
    (x) more than 20 pairs of shoes
    (x) at least ten things from a designer store
    ( ) expensive sunglasses
    (x) framed original art                                                                                                     ( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
    ( ) a multi-speed bike
    ( ) a gym membership
    ( ) large exercise equipment at home
    ( ) your own set of golf clubs
    ( ) a pool table (billiard to be exact)
    ( ) a tennis court
    () local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea
    ( ) your own pair of skis
    ( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
    ( ) a boat
    ( ) a jet ski
    ( ) a neighborhood committee membership
    ( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
    (x) wealthy family members
    (x) two or more family cars (4 in manila, 1 in province)
    ( ) a walk-in closet or pantry
    ( ) a yard
    ( ) a hammock
    ( ) a personal trainer
    ( ) good credit
    ( ) expensive jewelry
    ( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
    ( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
    ( ) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
    ( ) a stock portfolio
    (x) passport
    () a horse
    ( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
    ( ) private medical insurance
    ( ) a college degree, and no outstanding student loans
    total: 11
    Do you:
    (x) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
    ( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
    (x) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
    (x) go on weekend mini-vacations
    ( ) send dinners back with every flaw
    () wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
    (x) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon(every 2 months)
    ( ) have a job but don't need the money OR
    (x) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
    (x) pay someone else to cook your meals
    ( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
    (x) regularly pay someone else to drive you
    ( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner
    total:7
    Are you/Have you:
    ( ) an only child
    ( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
    ( ) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way
    (x) been on a cruise
    (x) traveled out of the country
    (x) met a celebrity
    ( ) been to the Caribbean
    (x) been to Europe
    ( ) been to Hawaii
    (x) been to New York
    ( ) eaten at the space needle in Seattle
    ( ) been to the Mall of America
    ( ) been on the Eiffel tower in Paris
    ( ) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
    ( ) moved more than three times because you wanted to
    ( ) dined with local political figures
    ( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast
    total:5
    Did you:
    ( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
    ( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
    (x) take riding or swimming lessons as a child (2nd year high school)
    (x) attend private school
    ( ) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you                                                               
    total: 2

     

    total:27? wheeee ^^

Tuesday, 29 November 2005

  • nakakapagod rin magmahal.

    it's better to give than to receive. I know, i know.

    pero, nauubusan rin naman ang tao diba?

    ...kahit ang pagmamahal.

    I feel like I've been giving everything. Little by little, in large quantities or small.

    wrenched, drained.... and left unnoticed, like a running water from a faucet forgotten to be closed.

    a heart of  a broken fount. unneternal, and someday dries.

    ...is it wrong to ask for love?

    or is this just me being a selfish, conceited, self-centered pathetic fool that craves for attention?


    my hands, left cold. my tears, burn.


    am I, left behind?Or am I, to wait till i return to dust?

    to leave, empty-handed. literally, figuratively....

    i find it unfair. Way beyond it.

    that was stupid thought. cross that out. life's never been fair.

    and i never thought it could have been this cruel.

    am I this undeserving of others? that I walk this life, alone and cold... and perspire wth each other's sweat through a crowd?

    little things. Yes they mean a lot to me. Maybe You never saw or took notice of. I cherish little useful things.

    but it hurts so much that You can think of things so much better for others.

    yes, that was a selfish thought.

    and here I wait, patiently. trying, calmly.

    maybe you never knew. How much anguish hides in me. Hints subtly put, so subtle maybe I was even deaf to them.

    And now I weep for them.



    No one to hold close.... to cuddle, to have warmth.

    because all have gone cold. even me....


    I'm guessing no one will understand my entry again.

    Sabagay, pare-pareho naman eh. Sa tingin ko, balang araw me magtatanong sakin:

    "o,san ka pupunta?"

    "aalis na. wala naman nagmamahal sakin dito."

Friday, 11 November 2005

  • Before I go on to my post, I would just like to apologize first before you see how much of a pathetic loser I am. I also am apologizing for this choppy entry >.<

    well, not as if a lot would care since there are only a few people I know here....

    This is the most effing moment of my life that if only I could i would've 'pffft!' it all away. Sadly I cant. I feel that I am such an idiot, loser, pathetic (I'm pretty redundant, am I?), used, and unwanted. I'm sorry for being self-centered or selfish, but that's how I've been feeling lately.

    And I still fear that the worst is to come....

    I'm feeling lonely again. As if I'm isolated from  reality... again. Actually I do isolate myself when I space out, but not to the point that I am almost left ignored and only noticed when needed.

    That's what I feel about my friends too.

    It's like... they don't appreciate me. Like they'd only notice me when they need something from me. That feeling really sucks.

    And when I show them something I am proud of, I feel as if they're just....I don't know!!! I lose my vocabulary whenever I type what I wanna say... damn! It's like this, when I show tit to them, they just go "wow." As in, wow, period. No exclamation points or even all caps. I don't know, maybe they find it crappy, but I put all effort there doing it, and I'm frustrated myself that I can't even achieve what I reall love.

    That's another thing too. I feel as if I'm losing my purpose here. I can't seem to reach  anything higher. I feel that I can't improve anymore... that I'll be dumb, hopeless and worthless. WORTHLESS.

    But that can't be right? I believe that God only lets us go back to Him when our purpose is done here on earth. I still breathe. Is there more for me?

    I am left behind. And I think I'll never catch up.

    A lot of times my eyes were about to betray me to shed a single tear out beacause of this. I won't let that happen. I have to take it all in, yes?

    I'm so afraid to let this out. Because if I do...

    they might just leave me out in the cold.

    And that makes everything worse.

    ....that's all I can say now. I can't remember other stuff anymore. But this won't be the last....

    sigh, what a birthday this shall be.

Monday, 31 October 2005

  • Since I poured my hear out in lj, I might as well post here ^^  Sorry for the very much randomness of my thoughts here. Really.

    *Sakura (ex-drummer of Laruku) reminds me of Antonio Banderas. And this though has been in my mind since yesterday

    *I have an artist-block. I force myself to draw and all, but it does not express what I really feel.

    * Art contests should be obsolete, or should not have existed at all, not unless given a much detailed category and what they really expect to see in the work. I mean, art is supposed to express and interpret what topic was given to you. Besides, how can you measure art? How can it be judged ? By how well you used the color harmonies? How contrasting the colors are? How straight the lines are, How perfect the proportions? Hence, you do not judge the art at all. You do not look beyond the canvass and is blind to the passion of the artist.

    * I suck at art contests. Hence the random thought above. School judges sometimes do not judge well really. They only see the beauty, but they not wish to think deeper of it. I mean, what they look for is something beautiful but direct to the theme. That doesn't work well for me because I believe art makes you think. It does not give itself away like an open book.

    * I 'm old enough now, though my talent has not matured. That sucks, really.

    * To me, being androgynous is beautiful.

    and yes, that's it for now... thank you.

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sm16

  • Visit sm16's Xanga Site
    • Name: Reiko
    • Birthday: 11/16/1989
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/2/2003

About Me

  • Isang makabayang Noypi na bobo sa Filipino. An artist that strives to be different from the rest (which is already typical to these kinds of people). An individual that tries to be a non-conformist but does not succeed, simply because she cannot express herself properly. Therefore, this blog has been created. Just thinking aloud, yun lang po.

May Chatterbox na ako! ^^

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  • bOnecollector
    KRINX! I downloaded ym ulit..chat tayo ha! =D